Divorce happens for a reason. In some cases, it’s very stark and obvious, such as when one spouse is unfaithful to the marriage. In other cases, it’s not so clear to an outsider, and it may be the result of years of smaller issues. Every relationship is different and so is every divorce.
With that in mind, you want to know what types of issues and red flags to watch out for in your own marriage. Here are a few of the main reasons for divorce other than the oft-cited infidelity:
1. Lack of emotional intimacy
People often point to a lack of physical intimacy, but it’s important to remember that feeling close emotionally is also very important. If you do not feel like your spouse supports you and cares about you, it undermines the relationship. Even if they’re not emotionally abusive, you still need to feel close.
2. Different spending habits
If both people have the same spending habits, things may work out with less friction, but you run into issues when you look at money differently. Maybe you see money as a way to have fun and get the most out of life, so you want to spend it and have experiences; you never know how long you have, after all. Your spouse loves to save every penny. They want to keep everything for retirement and plan for the future.
3. Physical changes
Unfortunately, physical changes and related issues often do cause people to grow apart. Maybe you’re dealing with a chronic illness or a disability. Maybe it’s something as simple as weight gain. When one person really cares about these issues, they can lead to divorce.
4. Endless arguments
Occasional arguing is probably fine. Most couples disagree from time to time. Arguing is a way to work through it without building up resentment. When you do it constantly, though, it’s a problem. If you can’t have a conversation without it turning into an argument, that relationship probably is not going to last.
5. Getting married at a young age
If you get married early — high school sweethearts who tied the knot at 18, for instance — the odds are far higher that it will end in divorce. The reality is just that you both may change significantly — mentally, physically and emotionally — in the coming years. You still have to grow and develop. You may find that you turn into two people who just do not feel compatible anymore, even though you did in high school.
So you have realized that you are going to get divorced. What now? Make sure you understand exactly what options you have and what steps you need to take.