Telling your children about an upcoming divorce can be one of the hardest parts of ending your marriage. However, it is important that you are as honest as possible about the changes that your family will be experiencing. As North Carolina law typically allows both parents to take an active role in their children’s lives after a divorce, you should stress to your kids that you will still be taking care of them.
Your kids should know that it isn’t their fault
It isn’t uncommon for children to believe that they are the reason why their parents are getting divorced. It is your job as a parent to reiterate the fact that they did nothing to cause the issues that led to the end of your marriage.
Don’t give your kids false hope for the future
You should make it as clear as possible that you and their other parent aren’t getting back together in the future. In some cases, giving your kids false hope of reconciliation can be just as painful as the divorce itself. It may be easier to make this point by allowing the other parent to take part in the discussion about what the future holds.
Spend some time listening to your children’s concerns
It’s likely that your children are going to have a lot of questions about what happens after the divorce is finalized. Furthermore, they may be anxious, depressed or scared about the changes that they’re going to be exposed to. Ideally, you will take time to listen to those concerns, acknowledge those feelings and give your kids the tools necessary to adjust to their new lives.
If you are planning on ending your marriage, it is a good idea to speak with an attorney. An attorney may be able to help you obtain maximum parental rights to your child, which might help your son or daughter adjust to his or her new reality in a healthy manner. Your lawyer may also seek to obtain child support payments, spousal support or other resources to make raising your child easier.