The thought of being young and divorced can be daunting. Indeed, the very idea may keep many in unhappy marriages far too long. However, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, divorce rates among those that married young only increases with age. Before 24, the divorce rate is over 7%, by 29, it rises to almost 14% and by 34, it raises to over 22%. As time goes on, those rates increase. This should blowup any idea that divorcees are a small group. No divorcee should feel alone, which is why divorce support groups are so abundant.
Be ready for complicated feelings. It is normal for divorcees, especially in the world of social media. Everyone has that one family member or friend that will likely do the, “I told you so” bit. Then, there is the potential guilt spiral that can happen as the divorce affects their former spouse, children, friends, parents, etc. Not to mention, the ever-present idea of whether there was enough “effort” put into saving the marriage. These are all normal fears and worries. Just remember that the divorce action is not part of one’s personality. It is just something that happened.
For those that are heading for divorce or already divorced, they are likely familiar with family, marriage therapy and couples counseling. Just because that did not “save” a marriage, it did help the couple find their next chapters. Therapy helps us learn how to manage our emotions, communicate and argue honestly and effectively, set boundaries, be more assertive, patience, etc.
It is okay to grieve
The idea of grieving a divorce may sound odd, but it is healthy and should be embraced. It is the ending of “we,” and the beginning of, “me.” That death of the “we” should be mourned, just like the ending of anything significant in our lives.
Post-divorce, just a snapshot
Of course, no Winston-Salem, North Carolina, couple marries to get divorced. Remember, this post-divorce period is just a small snapshot in a long life. And, while this time is painful, find those things, both big and small, that make this time more tolerable. Day by day, things will get easier until that one day we are okay.